leaving isn’t easy
He watched the racing Sun plunge into the oblivion across the horizon. The night was inevitable now.
Nothing romantic about it all. That’s how the process worked. The beauty of death and birth. Sunset, then the sunrise.
The Cattle were taking their time getting home. Their motion almost immobile from the distant mound he was sitting on. He felt engaged in all of it with an incredible calm. The day was ending it’s cycle. His knew his time was near too.
They were getting to him. This whole “heal me! heal me!’ thing. “Gives us more miracles. more!” .
It was getting a little tiring. How many times did he need to demonstrate to them??
“These Miracles and more, you can do too!”
The Healer needs the Leper as much as the Leper needs the Healer. For it’s the Leper who validates the Healer and the miracle of Healing.
But He had been validated many times over. Now something dangerous was starting to happen.
He was buying into their projections. Getting wrapped up in their adulation and admiration. This wasn’t good.
That’s not why he came here for.
For that matter he didn’t know why he came. Or why it all came through him.
The comfort of the mound was invaded by the distant shouts volleyed in his direction. ‘Fuck that shit! Not another laundry list of miracles’ he spat, frustrated.
They didn’t have ownership anymore. They didn’t want to learn for themselves. He had become their crutch.
His path was not theirs. It was indeed time to leave them. Time for them to learn, to take ownership of their healing and their growth.
Wearily he turned, as his name ricocheted towards him from the nearby rocks.
“Jesus… Jesus”.
(Fiction / 2003)
